What Does It Mean to Truly Love Yourself?
Everyone in this world loves themselves. The Buddha taught that no one loves another more than they love themselves. But what does true self-love look like? It is not about indulging in pleasure or seeking comfort at any cost—it is about doing good, being kind, and practicing meditation.
Loving-kindness, or mettā, is the purest form of self-love. When we practice mettā, we generate goodwill toward ourselves and others, leading to peace, happiness, and spiritual growth.
Why Loving-Kindness is Important
When we live with kindness, our thoughts, words, and actions become positive. We create good karma, leading to happiness both now and in the future. On the other hand, neglecting kindness and allowing negativity to grow leads to suffering—not just for ourselves, but for others as well.
The Buddha said:
“When looking in all directions with one’s mind, one finds no one dearer than oneself. Others feel the same about themselves. Therefore, one who loves oneself should not harm others.”
A Parent’s Love: A Model for Mettā
Think about a parent’s love for their child. Parents are willing to sacrifice everything for their children—working tirelessly, ensuring they have food, clothing, and education, and supporting them even after they are grown.
Now, imagine extending that same unconditional love beyond just our own family—to friends, strangers, and all living beings. This is the essence of mettā. When we develop this kind of heart, our minds become pure, and our world becomes more peaceful.
The Power of Loving-Kindness: The Story of Kapila the Hermit
Long before the Buddha’s time, a hermit named Kapila lived in the forest, dedicating his life to meditation. He practiced loving-kindness daily, sending thoughts of goodwill in all directions.
- When facing east, he would wish: “May all beings—big or small, with two legs, four legs, or no legs—be happy and free from suffering.”
- He repeated this for all directions—north, south, west, above, and below—until his mind radiated pure loving-kindness in every direction.
Over time, his practice transformed his surroundings:
✅ Animals that were once enemies lived peacefully.
✅ The forest flourished with abundance.
✅ The air was fresh and free from decay.
✅ Even humans and deities respected him.
Later, this sacred land became the birthplace of Prince Siddhartha—who would become the Buddha. This story teaches us that one person’s loving-kindness can change the world.
Can Meditation Reduce Crime?
Interestingly, modern studies suggest that meditation and collective goodwill reduce crime rates. Some experiments have shown that when a group meditates with positive intentions, violence and negativity in surrounding areas decrease.
Let’s apply this to Cape Town:
📍 The city has a population of 5,063,580.
📍 The minimum number of meditators needed to create a peaceful effect is 225 (1% of the square root of the population).
Right now, our meditation group has about 20 people—just 200 more to reach this number. It might sound like a big goal, but imagine the impact if it really works!
How to Practice Loving-Kindness (Mettā Meditation)
Loving-kindness meditation is simple and powerful. Here’s how you can start:
1️⃣ Begin with Yourself:
- Silently repeat: “May I be free from harm. May I be safe. May I be free from suffering. May I be happy.”
2️⃣ Expand to Loved Ones:
- Send the same wishes to your family, friends, and teachers.
3️⃣ Include All Beings:
- Extend your thoughts of kindness to strangers, animals, and even those you have conflicts with.
- Imagine your inner light expanding to embrace the whole world.
The 11 Benefits of Loving-Kindness
The Buddha taught that regular practice of mettā brings 11 powerful benefits:
✅ Sleep peacefully.
✅ Wake up happily.
✅ Have fewer nightmares.
✅ Be loved by humans and non-humans.
✅ Be protected by divine beings.
✅ Be safe from harm (fire, poison, and weapons).
✅ Develop deep concentration easily.
✅ Have a bright, radiant face.
✅ Have a peaceful death.
✅ If enlightenment is not yet reached, be reborn in the heavenly realms.
Loving-Kindness is the Key to True Self-Love
Self-love is not just about seeking pleasure—it’s about cultivating kindness, peace, and goodness within. When we practice loving-kindness daily, we bring joy to ourselves, those around us, and even the environment.
🌿 Let’s make mettā a habit.
🌿 Let’s create a ripple effect of peace.
🌿 Let’s change the world—one kind thought at a time.
Are you ready to begin? Start today and experience the transformation for yourself. 💙
