When the Buddha saw conflict arise among the monks of Kosambi, He did not side with one group or the other. Instead, He taught a way of living together in harmony, through what is called the Six Principles of Cordiality. These six principles build love, respect, and unity in any community—whether it is a family, a workplace, or a group of friends walking the spiritual path.
Let us explore these six principles and how we can apply them in daily life.
1. Kindness in Action
This means helping each other in practical, physical ways. For example, carrying things for one another, cleaning shared spaces together, or lending a hand in community tasks. It also means showing respect through our manners: smiling at each other, being polite, being humble, not looking down on others, not using force or intimidation, and never using violence to solve problems. Whether in front of others or behind their backs, our actions should always be guided by kindness.
2. Kindness in Speech
This is about using words that are wholesome and uplifting. We speak with love and goodwill, encouraging each other in times of suffering, disappointment, or difficulty. We offer helpful advice and speak only what is beneficial. We avoid lies, harsh words, or gossip. Our words should match our deeds. We speak politely, with respect, using reason and wisdom—not anger—as our guide. If we cannot offer helpful words, then at the very least, we should refrain from speaking words that wound or criticize.
3. Kindness in Thought
This means training our mind to think well of others. We wish each other happiness, we forgive, and we see the good in one another. We plan and act with the intention of creating shared benefit. We avoid harmful thoughts like jealousy, resentment, bias, or the wish to cause pain. Instead, we give others opportunities, we give them space, and we forgive easily. In front of others or in private, our thoughts should be filled with goodwill.
4. Sharing What We Have
This principle is about generosity. Whatever we receive in a fair way, we are willing to share with others—even small things. We share benefits, resources, food, tools, and knowledge. We help each other according to our ability, and we use natural resources responsibly, without damaging the environment that sustains us all. We avoid selfishness, greed, and exploiting others for personal gain. Instead, we support one another and contribute to the greater good of society.
5. Shared Morality
This means upholding good conduct together. We live honestly, respecting rules and agreements, and we respect each other’s rights and freedoms. We do not abuse power or claim privileges. We avoid actions that cause mistrust or suspicion in the community. Instead, we behave in ways that are honorable, fair, and harmless. Whether in public or in private, we follow principles of honesty, discipline, and integrity.
6. Shared Understanding
Finally, this means holding common views on what is true and good. We may have different personal opinions, but in the important principles that lead to freedom from suffering, we stand united. We know how to listen to others and to society as a whole. If our view is different from the majority, we reflect carefully, and adjust our attitude when needed. We seek common ground and preserve differences wisely, without creating conflict. We understand rights, responsibilities, and freedoms, and we hold a vision of truth that unites us.
Living in Peace Together
When these six principles are practiced, conflict cannot take root. Communities remain strong, relationships flourish, and inner peace becomes easier to develop. This teaching reminds us that peace is not only found in meditation but also in how we live, speak, think, and share with one another.
By practicing these six principles of cordiality, we take one step closer to a peaceful mind—and a peaceful world.
✨ May we all cultivate these six principles in our lives, for the benefit of ourselves and others.
